The Colossi of Memnon: The singing Egyptian statue, visited by a Roman Emperor after his boyfriend drowned in the Nile

History often sounds fake. Sure, the broad strokes make sense — but when you get into the tales of individuals, it sounds made up.

“The Romans thought those statues were what? And a Roman Emperor had a boyfriend? Who was how old? And then he…what? Right. And I guess this Emperor also had an Iron Man suit and an Imperial Gauntlet and snapped his fingers and made the Parthians turn to dust.”

But everything I’m about to tell you is true. Well, as far as we’re able to tell without actually traveling back in time and finding out. Which we may end up doing, as long as you pay attention.

The Colossi of Memnon Aren’t That At All

You cross the Nile on a public ferry. It only costs a little pocket change. On the other side, you find a cab. You negotiate, trying to reach a deal. After a bit of bargaining, the driver agrees to take you around for a few hours from this site to that, waiting outside at each spot.

You head west, passing through bright green crops, much as things must have looked a few thousand years ago. The Valley of the Kings lies in the distance. Soon, you approach two massive statues. They’re impossible to miss, 60 feet high. You ask the driver to pull over.

Both are in pretty bad shape. The one on the left looks like Thor bashed its face in. The one on the right looks like the top half was broken off, and a bunch of low-end contractors tried to repair it.

These are called the “Colossi of Memnon.” Even today, we call them by their totally-wrong Roman name.

In reality, the statues are of the Ancient Egyptian king Amenhotep III. He ruled in the 1300’s BCE, during a time when Ancient Egypt was at its apex. If you asked a few real-life Egyptologists who the greatest king was, there’s a good chance some of them would speak his name.

So Amenhotep III built himself a mortuary temple, as one does. I have, haven’t you? This temple was big. Like, really big. At its front stood these gigantic statues we’re talking about.

Not much is left of this temple. As I said, you pass the statues on your way to the other sites on the West Bank of Luxor — that’s because the temple was built fairly close to the Nile. Over the centuries, the annual flooding undermined its foundations, causing it to collapse. The good news is, the temple’s an active dig site most every season. Smaller statues similar to these have been pulled up, and now sit where they’re supposed to.

Roman Tunes

So why did the Romans think these statues were of some guy named “Memnon”? Were they just  stupid? Well, no. Or yes. Yes and no.

Memnon was a figure in stories of the Trojan War. He was stabbed in the chest by Achilles with a giant spear, and died. Every morning his mother Eos, the Greek goddess of the dawn, would cry for her son, leaving dew behind.

Well, that’s how one of the stories goes. You know how mythology is — there’s a dozen different stories for everything.

In 27 BCE, an earthquake caused the top of the statue on the right to collapse. Yes, that statue. The one with the really subpar restoration job on it. Imagine all of that gone, and that’s how it would’ve looked to the Romans.

This statue soon became legendary. In the morning, people started to hear it “sing.”

Now, keep in mind that we’re talking about the ancient world here. There’s a lot of blank spots in what we know about events — but not when it comes to this. Everyone wrote about this statue.

Okay, not literally everyone. I’m exaggerating for effect. But lots of people did.

The historian Strabo visited, and explains what it looked like at the time:

“Here are two colossi, which are near one another and are each made of a single stone; one of them is preserved, but the upper parts of the other, from the seat up, fell when an earthquake took place, so it is said.”

Strabo goes on to explain how he heard the sound, but was skeptical on whether it was coming from the statue itself or from guys standing nearby who might’ve been trying to fake him out:

“…Whether it came from the base or from the colossus, or whether the noise was made on purpose by one of the men who were standing all round and near to the base, I am unable positively to assert; for on account of the uncertainty of the cause I am induced to believe anything rather than that the sound issued from stones thus fixed.”

The Greek writer Pausanias heard it too, and compared it to a “harp or lyre when a string has been broken.”

At some point, the Romans decided this was a statue of Memnon, and that the sound was his mother crying. It became a major tourist attraction. Greeks and Romans flocked to it, hoping to hear the singing at dawn. It was like Spring Break for the wealthy, only with more drinking. Because…Egyptian festivals and all. That’s just how things went down back then.

It was considered good luck if you made the trip and heard the singing. In fact, there’s ancient graffiti all over it, written by people thousands of years ago who felt the need to brag about how they heard it, or scratch down poems in honor of this event.

So what was the actual cause of the singing? Today, it’s believed it was the result of dew escaping from a crack in the sandstone when warmed by the morning sun. Stupid science, always ruining the fun.

Imperial Vacation

In the height of the reign of the magical singing statue, Roman Emperors would visit. I think that gives you an idea of just how popular this spot was.

One of those was the Emperor Hadrian, one of the “Good Emperors.” He’s known for being quite the traveling man — he spent about half his reign gallivanting from one end of the empire to the other, and had a special affinity for Greece. You can still see the marks he left behind, especially in Athens.

While traveling, Hadrian met a Greek boy named Antinous. He probably would’ve been 13 or 14 at the time. Antinous was brought to Rome for schooling, and Hadrian continued his travels.

Now, it’s important to note that homosexuality was quite acceptable in Ancient Rome. There’s a lot of variables here, like it was masculine to be the “giver” and not the “taker,” but that’s a really lengthy topic. Suffice to say, it was just fine for Hadrian to be into men. Just as it was fine for a wealthy Roman to take an “interest” in a young boy and see to his education.

Hadrian eventually got really into Antinous. It’s believed this would’ve been when the boy was a bit older. Hadrian, who was apparently in an unhappy marriage, started taking him along on his travels.

They go to Corinth, they go to Athens, they go to Antioch. Eventually, they head south to Africa.

Again, it sounds made up, right? Roman Emperor and his boyfriend go on these exotic trips, visiting the Tomb of Alexander the Great? Like a poorly written script some guy in really bad cosplay pushes on a washed up actor in a celebrity zoo at the local Comic Con. Well, it’s all true — and it gets even weirder.

The couple goes to Libya, where they hunt a lion and Hadrian saves Antinous’ life. That’s what they claimed, anyway. Hadrian told everyone about it. If you visit Rome today, you can still see reliefs on the Arch of Constantine of this legendary lion fight. I’m not sure I buy it, but “I killed a lion and saved someone” is a pretty badass story.

In October of 130 CE, the couple and the full entourage of the Emperor set sail up the Nile. They make their way to the city of Hermopolis. During the Festival of Osiris, Antinous just…dies.

The story is that Antinous fell into the Nile and drowned, possibly because he was drunk. Other theories claim he was assassinated, but it seems unlikely because he didn’t really have an interest in politics. It’s not like getting rid of him would’ve really benefited anyone.

Some have said Antinous was a voluntary human sacrifice. Hadrian had been sick for years, and a common belief at the time was that you could heal someone else through your death.

One possibility is that Antinous decided to go through with this sacrifice without Hadrian knowing. Based on the Emperor’s behavior following this incident, it seems unlikely to me that he would’ve approved. Because let me tell you — there’s a reason people talk about Antinous today, and it’s all because of the fallout.

Hadrian’s Healing

So Antinous dies at the end of October. A couple of weeks later, the Antinous-free expedition arrives at the Colossi of Memnon.

Why’d the journey continue? Yet another of the mysteries of history. Maybe it would’ve been politically unwise to call off a big trip because of the death of your boyfriend. Or maybe, just maybe, Hadrian thought if he heard the statue singing, it would bring him good fortune.

Some say he didn’t hear it. According to a series of poems written on the statue by the female poet Julia Balbilla, he did. Amazingly, she was with Hadrian on this trip. And her poems are still there, on the legs and the feet of the Colossus.

“…like ringing bronze, Memnon again sent out his voice.

“Sharp-toned, he sent out his greeting and for a third time a mighty roar.

“The Emperor Hadrian then himself bid welcome to Memnon and left on stone for generations to come.

“This inscription recounting all that he saw and all that he heard.

 “It was clear to all that the gods love him.”

I’m trying to picture this morning. A mist hangs low over the crops. Hadrian and his wife stand there amid a crowd of a couple hundred — soldiers, politicians, poets, philosophers. It’s a bit chilly, Hadrian pulls his cloak tight. The sun peeks up, the feet of the statue glow orange. After a few minutes, they hear a high-pitched whining noise. The crowd applauds. Hadrian stands there in the midst of them all, next to a wife he doesn’t love, completely alone.

After all, ancient writings claim Hadrian “wept like a woman” after the death of Antinous. No matter what happened that morning, I don’t think it brought him any peace — and for Hadrian, good fortune never came.

You see, Hadrian was still really upset. He declares Antinous a god, and establishes a cult. He names a star after his lost love, builds a city named after him, and they start making statues. And let me tell you, these statues are everywhere. You can still see them in museums across the world. They’re in Athens, they’re in Paris, they’re in Rome. There’s so many, I’m sure Cleveland could have a few if they asked around.

Statues of Antinous. Busts of Antinous. Coins of Antinous. Statues of Antinous merged with this god or that god. Hadrian’s Villa had an entire section we call the “Antinoeion,” which had Egyptian architectural elements and an obelisk. It was either a center for the Antinous cult, or possibly Antinous’ actual tomb.

Hadrian died about eight years after this fateful trip to Egypt, childless and unhappy. Supposedly in the time leading up to his death, he was extremely sick and people prevented him from taking his own life multiple times.

In 199 CE, the Emperor Septimius Severus visited the statue and had it “repaired.” It never sang again.